Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Statue of levity

‘Aaj Blue hai pani pani pani pani pani pani
Aur hum hain horny horny horny horny horny horny’
“Fucking unbelievable man! Is the lyricist for real?”.

Trying to figure out how a shitty sounding song can salvage a movie’s foregone fortunes at the box office, you can hardly expect to witness something that’s even more batshit insane.

A goddess Sonia temple- Congress MLA’s thank you for Telangana decision
“Fucking unbelievable man! Is this doormat for real? - feeling Gandu jaisa”


But is it really so big a deal that people are getting their panties in a wad? 


Krrish got his own statue when he was fucking around with our brains in the third installment, that too only when he was saving us from Viveik Oberoi and Kangana Ranaut. Seriously, what threat did they pose apart from the fact that they threatened to appear in other movies? And isn't he already at Tussauds? 

Nobody gave a shit then.


The clay prototype of Mother India’s statue is ready. It holds a flower (a lotus!? something from Vadraland!?) in one hand and a plate replete with what looks like Italian Pasta in the other. A benevolent smile greets the onlooker, making him feel it's his Swiss account.

And no, this is not sycophancy. Not a Bollywood movie either. 
“...devout Nehru-Gandhi loyalist...”

'The center for spiritual and venal development'
Fuck Tussauds. 


When it comes to Mother India, the Goddess of prosperity who’s got billions in her coffers to proffer, the epitome of sacrifice, everybody goes gaga, forgetting that the devotee is an Indian and is liable to take offence.

“Building a temple -not a bootlicker.”
“Are you serious, or just shitting on me?”
“Dude, you’re hurting my religious sensibilities.”
“No shit. But what about mental sensibilities?”


"The party’s secular credentials are at stake. Why a temple? Why not some other structure?"
"What do you mean some other structure?"
"I don't know. Maybe a fenced opening for a scarecrow. That's secular."


'The priest’s appointment has been deferred till post elections?'
"Possibly. It is probably just a post retirement benefit."


PS. Sycophancy is now spelled a-s-s-l-i-c-k-e-r-y.


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