Friday, 4 April 2014

Lights out

'A tube-light resembles a sarcastic quote. And math too. It takes time'  

(no idea why the search engine came up with this when I entered tube-light. maybe because of the halo)

The previous tube light that had served me well for over four months gave way way back in October. Then, I had tried to resuscitate it. I twisted it, turned it, abused it, coaxed it, reversed its positioning, but to no avail.

Four months! I mean, c’mon! That’s like the duration of two State Assemblies. So, naturally, there was a certain level of affection/laziness which meant that I continued holding onto it, in much the same way as I continued with my ex’s name as my laptop’s password. So, I took it down and placed it vertically in one corner of my room. It still stands there and looks eerily like my ex giving me the finger.

Well, then, few days later there were exams. And you just don’t fuck with exams. So, I put down a request for a new tube, but the authorities gave me sweet fuck-all, which meant I had to take care of preparations in my neighbor's room who gradually got pissed off on me because he wanted privacy to do some stuff. I respect that. I do. (He don’t have no girlfriend though. Just saying)

I decided to take matters in my own hands. A tube costs 50 bucks is what somebody prompted. Another retorted that 50 bucks = 6 cigarettes. Somebody else suggested I steal one from one of the many corridors of our hostel. That proved impossible. It was like forcing a barefoot Rajpal Yadav to kiss Deepika + stilettos on screen.

Finally, a bathroom was zeroed in on in the adjacent wing, and I attacked in broad daylight, chairs and all, because we assholes are certainly sleeping during that time, can’t say the same about any other hour of the day. The tube was slotted, and my heart skipped a beat when I switched it on.

It made a whizzing noise, flickered, blinked innocently as if it was in a viva and not in my room, and finally glowed to its fullest a la Yami Gautam.

The tube served me well for over 6 months. Sadly, today it fizzled out. I almost forgot I was in my hostel and not in Bangladesh for the world cup.

It has been with me through ups and downs (that, by the way, is the worst double-entendre ever, can’t believe I have stooped down to Viveik Oberoi levels). It has seen me watch Dhoom 3 and Yaariyan. It watched silently as I stalked girls online, read TOI, scratched myself or picked my nose. And like a true friend, it was never ever judgmental. It accepted me for who I was, and blinked on with me.

However, no resuscitation this time around, coz a lizard is perched atop the tube-holder and I would rather fuck with exams than mess with the bastard. Plus, the futility of a working tube in the last month of the last semester outweighs the need of a new tube, when all you are doing for the entire day is eating whatever you aren't drinking.


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